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UKIP voters think it’s fine to have sex with dogs

Posted by
Emily Reynolds
Published

There are a few things we already know about UKIP voters.

One: They think Nigel Farage is a reasonable person to assume a position of genuine authority. They have looked at Nigel Farage and thought “yes: this man, who has failed to become an MP not once or twice but SEVEN TIMES, is a person I would entrust with issues of national importance”.

Two: Loads of them are racist.

Three: They are all, even if they are not literally divorced dads, divorced dads.

Anyway, new polling has turned up a brand new fact about UKIP voters: UKIP voters mostly think it is totally fine to literally fuck a dog.

According to this poll from YouGov, that is.

The poll was a response to a recent news story in which a pensioner was convinced of having sex with a series of dogs, including a St Bernard called Oscar. Most people – people who don’t vote UKIP – do not like the fact that an old woman had sex with a St Bernard called Oscar. Most people would put themselves in the “old women should probably not have sex with St Bernards either called Oscar or any other name” camp.

12% of UKIP voters though – they have no such qualms. Immigration? Bad. The metric system? Bad. Non-British people in British football teams? Extremely bad, guys! Fucking dogs? Fine. Totally fine to fuck a dog, lads. Just go right ahead and fuck that dog.

And people online – though it’s unconfirmed whether or not they voted UKIP – have also taken up arms in...public defence of having sex with dogs? 

Anyway: don’t fuck dogs, bye.