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Prepare to give up: This Monopoly board shows how much it actually costs to live in London

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Gary Ogden
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Well this is depressing. I’ve got some news for you, you can’t actually buy a house in London for £200, like you can in Monopoly. You should know this: in the game it’s not real money and the house you’ve just bought is very tiny – it’s not even big enough for an earwig.

In reality, buying a house costs a great deal more than £200 – hell, renting a house does, too. But just how much? Well, London Fox Lettings has decided to knock up a slightly more realistic board, filled to the loft-conversion with eye-watering prices that will make your arsehole instantly dilate with despair.

Here it is (click to enlarge):

Can you feel the weight of that? Can you feel it on your shoulders? Can you feel your spine crack?

Turns out it’s fucking expensive to live in London, if you didn’t already know. Oh, you want to buy a property on The Strand? That’ll suck the air from your lungs to the sound of £2,053,915. Want to rent in Pall Mall? Prepare to feel the moisture in your skin desiccate to the scorching bear-hug of £715 per week.

London Fox Lettings got its data from Zoopla and the London Rents Map to create this apocalyptic work of art, which will presumably be bought by Satan to hang in his toilet, where he lies on his back, legs akimbo, and shits out estate agents into a tube which transports them to earth.

I’m not really sure why a letting agent would want to highlight just exactly how much London’s property prices have in common with ipecac, but hey, it’s a nice infographic I guess.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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