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Idiot guy ghosts girlfriend of three years, oh man is he regretting it now

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Gary Ogden
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Ghosting isn’t exactly the nicest way to close a relationship book, but it does happen (and we’ve all done it at least once, right?), but there are certain parameters or unwritten rules that should be adhered to. So, like, if you’ve been on one Tinder date (or even two), ghosting is fine, I rate. Maybe even three dates – it’s not advised, but I wouldn’t be too miffed if it happened to me (it has happened to me).

But I think once a “relationship” goes over a few months, the ghosting period is dead. The ghosting period is a ghost. And I’m afraid of ghosts.

So, to today’s story: over on the blog Ask A Manager (a lighthearted Q&A site for people with workplace problems), an anonymous man emailed in with a question about his current predicament.

Essentially, he had ghosted a girl, subsequently left the country and found work at a new school. He got away without a messy break-up, basically. Hi my name’s Scott. Scott Free.

But NO. No no no Scott, you have not got away with this, because, as he details:

“I have been in other relationships since, so Sylvia is a sort of forgotten history. Sadly, till now. This week, I learnt that our fantastic school director suddenly resigned due to a serious family situation and had to move back to her home country over the summer.

“The school had to replace her. We are getting a new director. I read the bio of the new boss and googled her and was shocked to discover it is Sylvia. We have not been in touch and do not have any mutual friends anymore. I am not a big fan of social media and had no idea what she had been up to since the unpleasant situation a long time ago.”

So yeah, quite bad and all – a lady that he ghosted, and who probably once saw him naked, is now going to be his boss. Quite a funny little cautionary tale.

But the thing is, I’m holding a bit of information from you, as it happens. I’ll leave it up to our ghoster to explain:

“We were together for three years and lived together for two of those years.”

Sorry, what?

“Sylvia wanted to settle down but I was not ready to commit so young. We clearly had different expectations from the relationship. I did not know what to do and, well, I ghosted her. Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country.

“I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama. Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends.”

HE HAD BEEN LIVING WITH HER FOR TWO YEARS AND THEN ONE DAY HE JUST FUCKED OFF.

That is, quite clearly, a very, very terrible thing to do. A highly sociopathic thing to do. Mind-boggling, you may say. But of course, it’s him that’s having the tough time:

“I have no idea what to do and how to deal with this mess. It is clear this will be not only embarassing but I will also be reporting to my ex. I am not in a position to find another job at present. There are no other international schools so finding another job in this country is not an option.

“Even finding a job elsewhere is not possible on such a short notice. These jobs usually open for school terms so I have to stay put for few months. But more importantly, I am happy and settled here so do not want to move. To make the situation worse, the expat community here is very small and tightly knit so teachers also socialize a lot.”

I mean, you’ve made your rather disgusting bed and you’re going to have to pickle in it, mate. That’s my outlook, and that’s the outlook of the blog’s “Manager”, too. You can read the whole reply here, but this pretty much sums it up:

“Double oof… That’s some serious emotional destruction that you inflicted there.”

You can say that again.

“Double oof… That’s some serious emotional destruction that you inflicted there.”

I didn’t mean it literally, but OK.

(Image: iStock) 

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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