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These baby names are in danger of going extinct in 2017

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Gary Ogden
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What with people calling their babies silly names like Trust and Lasagne, old-fashioned, classic go-to names have fallen by the wayside of late. Old Archibald is exactly that: old. Names are going extinct, and we have the parents – with their love of Star Wars – to blame, for calling all their kids Finn or Rey, rather than something cool like Horace or Gertrude.

Babycentre, a website for new or soon-to-be parents, has done one of those ‘survey’ things on baby names registered to their site, and taken notice of all the ones that haven’t been submitted yet in 2017. Obviously, they’re only taking into account once-popular names, because of course nobody has called their child Robocop this year.

After analysing the data, they’ve drawn up a list of names, both male and female, that are in danger of dropping off the register if some plucky old-school rents don’t do the right thing and bring them back. It’s up to you, babymakers – you can do it!

Anyway, here’s the boys:

Ian / Iain
Frank
Clarence
Ricky
Edmund
Gus
Roger
Bertram
Clive
Roald

Surprising additions include Ian and Ricky, but I could easily have predicted Bertram. I have not seen The Boss Baby nor do I know what it is about, but I would bet a substantial amount of money that the bad guy is called Baby Bertram.

Here are the girls:

Cilla
Bertha
Cynthia
Janice
Anita
Marcia
Mildred
Dorothy
Edna
Bonnie
Cindy / Sindy
Donna
Gail
Karen

Not too many surprises here – little baby Mildred doesn’t have the sweetest ring to it, does it? Ditto baby Edna – sounds like a wooden roller-coaster from the ‘70s or something.

There are some nice ones in the list though, I rate. Frank is a great name, as is Gus, and Ricky ain’t bad either. Anita’s great, so is Karen, and if it wasn’t for Friends, then Janice would be alright.

So yeah, get calling your babies these names, parents, otherwise they’re going to die out. Or if you’re nowhere near thinking about kids yet, then just tag your mate Roald! He’ll love this!

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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