We used to think that Australia was the most dangerous country on the planet but it seems dear old Blighty is rapidly descending into a terrifying hellhole of animalistic pain.
First a Brazilian wandering spider was found in Tamworth, quickly followed by a black widow in Leamington Spa. And now there's an "aggressive" ostrich-like psycho bird on the loose. And it's in the Midlands again. What do they put in the water there?
A rhea - a tall, flightless bird, measuring around six feet in height and native to South America, has been reported missing from a private collection in Carlton-in-Lindrick, near Worksop. It escaped between Monday evening and midday on Tuesday.
Inspector Paul Peatfield, from Nottinghamshire police, said: “We are warning local people and particularly those with small children to be on their guard and not to approach the bird, which poses a very real threat to the public due to its size, aggressive nature and the unfamiliar surroundings it could find itself in. Officers are working with the owner to trace the bird as we look to bring this incident to a safe conclusion."
However, bird expert David Lindo told the BBC, that people shouldn't be afraid.
He said: "It's a bird that will peg it as soon as it sees you... it's been very overrated in terms of the dangerous aspect of it. They're quite stealthy and they'll be running off, hiding into the bushes... they can melt into the countryside quite easily."
Well, that's all very well, but we'll reserve judgement until we meet it. If anyone comes face to face with a giant bird in the Nottinghamshire area, they are urged to ring 999. That's if the bird doesn't peck your eyes out first of course.