"Old Trafford? Yeah, you'll want to swing a left at Villa Park, go over Rodney Marshes and take the slip road right after Nottingham Forest."
Hearing these directions would normally imply you've asked a waggish Manchester City fan for help. That, or you've spent far too much time engrossed in this tremendous map…
The latest magnificent poster from Dorothy, Football Map is a reminder of just how good the UK has it in terms of history and footballing tradition. You won't spot too many Home Depot Stadiums and Pizza Hut Parks - eschewing corporate sponsorship in favour of the halcyon days; this really is grass roots stuff, imagining Premier League giants, minnows from the lower divisions and everything in between as roads, rivers, parks and landmarks.
Loosely based on the area surrounding Parker's Piece, a park in central Cambridge that is regarded as the birthplace of Association Football when in 1848 a group of students drew up and adopted a set of rules which later became the basis for the modern rules we play today, it’s quite delightful.
Of the 500 places it plots, you might even spot the odd foreign footballing cauldron, as well as cult names that sounds a bit like a place: Bobby Moore, Nobby Stiles, and Jimmy Hill (sorry, Clint).
For anyone tired of shuffling into today’s modern football stadia - you know, the ones resembling a downed alien spaceship, its galactic midway ring of corporate seats epitomising everything that is wrong with modern football - it's a breath of fresh air.
What’s more, you can snap up a four colour litho print for £25 plus P&P. And no, sadly that doesn’t stand for ‘pie and a programme’.
Wearedorothy.com - click on the image below to zoom