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21 reasons Southern Rail really is the devil’s rail operator

Still cursing the skies as the tenth carriage with someone’s face pressed against the glass chugs its way past your platform? You’re not alone.

As Southern Rail continues strike action around the south east, thousands of commuters are facing hellish journeys full of disruptions, delays, and overcrowding.

If you're unfortunate enough to be forced to use Southern Rail, read on for some brief respite from your pain. If you've never used Southern Rail - go thank your deity of preference, and then read on to find out what it's really all about.

When you have time to write poetry

We hope they're kidding

When they decided drivers were an optional part of the whole train experience

Again

And again

Until they drove Janette to violent profanity

When they made your three hour delayed train just four carriages long

When they forced this man to use professionally printed puns

When you were actually happy to hear a different excuse, because "Unexpected staff illness" was getting a little boring

But then realised every excuse is just a straight-up lie anyway

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When you would laugh if you weren't crying

When even the WiFi hated it

When the whole thing was bad enough to inspire multiple parody accounts

When even your evil boss had to concede that being late wasn't your fault

When they crushed the entire motivational genre

Multiple times

When you got neck strain from staring at the boards, the last embers of your hope dying in your eyes

When it became common sense to stock up on these bad boys

When they made up for their terrible service with accurate and reliable timetables

When their train posters became a little too fitting

When they redefined the word "trainspotting"