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You could be the next Sherlock Holmes: The Met are accepting detective applications with no previous experience required

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Gary Ogden
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You watched Making A Murderer, right? You sat on your armchair, boring into the television, analysing every single detail, every piece of evidence, each facial tick, all possible motives, the backstories, the dubious police investigations – you had it right. You know exactly what happened, but you’re just a lowly Netflix binger, what could you possibly do to make a difference?

Well, you could apply to become a detective on the Metropolitan police force, that’s what you could do.

“But you have to go to Police Academy and/or be able to make sound effects with your mouth,” you say, shaking your fists towards the sky.

Yes, maybe that was the case in the past – a detective would have to work their way up the ranks from a simple officer all the way up to a Morse – but now, things are changing. Due to a shortage of detective constables on the force (leading to a potential national crisis), the Met are opening up the application process to those without any formal experience.

The requirements are merely this:

  • You have to have lived in London for three of the last six years
  • You must have a degree
  • You must pass the national investigators’ exam within 12 months of joining
  • You must complete a two-year development programme
  • You must have your own catchphrase, like Columbo

DCS Stephen Clayman, leading the recruitment programme, said:

“London continues to change and so do its criminals. Increasingly complex crimes such as cyber-criminality and the pressing need to protect vulnerable people mean our investigators need to develop new expertise.

“To meet these challenges and to face future threats, the Met will need to equip its officers, present and future, with the right skills and capabilities. We will need to ensure we are even more innovative in the way we recruit, and that we look and feel like the Londoners we serve.”

This is the second time the traditional method of climbing the career ladder has been nixed – back in 2012, the police started accepting direct applications for inspector and superintendent ranks. The scheme will also be closely followed by a new initiative that will require all police forces in England and Wales to require a degree or degree-level apprenticeship for all new recruits.

If you fancy dusting off your magnifying glass and going for this, then they’re accepting applications from 31 May to 3 July. If you’re doing it solely for the money (fair enough), then you’re looking at a starting salary of £22,896 plus £6,711 London allowances, which will later rise to £38,001 plus allowances.

This is of course providing you don’t just spend all your time in an actual armchair shouting at crime documentaries. You’ll have to do some actual work.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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