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Here's why your nose always looks massive in selfies (and how to fix it)

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Gary Ogden
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Here's why your goddamn nose always looks massive in selfies (and how to fix it)

“Better put some new pictures on my Tinder profile,” you say, as you hold up your phone in front of your face and snap a quick selfie. But oh no! It appears that there is the world’s greatest snout pushing your eyes apart and your mouth downards. An almighty beak protruding through the middle of your face like a needless scene in a 3D movie. The honker to end all honkers, taking you for a right mug.

But why? You didn’t think your nose was that large, did you? Quite a modest bill, you had always suspected. A normal nose, all of a sudden looking like the pyramid of Giza once you’ve taken a photo of it.

Cosmetic surgeon Dr. Boris Paskhover agrees, and has reported that more and more young people are getting nose jobs because of it - they don’t like the look of the face-whale in their selfies, so they spend thousands to get it sorted. Thousands for nothing, though, for it’s all down to simple camera techniques.

A report published in the medical journal JAMA Facial Plastic Surgery last month found that your big old horn only appears gargantuan because you’re taking the photo too close. Your nose will naturally look up to 30% larger when the photo is taken at a distance of 12 inches.

The study said:

“Despite the ease with which selfies are taken, the short distance from the camera causes a distortion of the face owing to projection, most notably an increase in nasal dimensions.”

So take the photo at a standard distance of about five feet, and everything will stay in proportion. That means getting someone else to take your new profile pic for you, unless of course you have really long arms.

Either way, there’s no need for surgery. On your nose, that is - I’d suggest getting it on your ridiculous arms, Stretch Armstrong.

Read more: A guide on what to do with your hands in photos

(Image: Antoine Beauvillain)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

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