Been dropping your sweets on the floor, have we? Been picking them up, putting them in your mouth and swallowing them because of the ‘five second rule’, have we? Well, some science bods (‘researchers’ if we’re getting technical) at Rutgers University have said this is categorically nonsense.
You stupid idiot, you utter clown, of course it wasn’t true. Spit out those contaminated Fruit Pastilles right now, you wretched dunce, you’re getting bacteria all over your healthy mouth and into your otherwise untarnished tract.
The scientists spent a few days chucking different types of food (watermelon, candy, bread and bread with butter) on different types of floor (stainless steel, ceramic tile, wood and carpet) then picking them up after different amounts of time to see how utterly ruined by floor bacteria they’d been.
Their vital results show that watermelon gets the most contaminated (“bacteria move with moisture – the wetter the food, the higher the risk of transfer”) and gummy candy the least – so if your thinking about buying a snack with your lunch and throwing it on the floor at some point, make it Haribo rather than a posh fruit pot.
Another gem from their crucial research has discovered that carpet has very low transfer rates, so basically: if you’re going to drop your dinner everywhere – make sure it’s a jelly beans and on your nan’s rug, because that’s what’ll make you the least ill.
The official ShorLlist line is: eat gummy candies off the floor for a clean(ish) bill of health.