You know those two Tinder people that kept up that running joke over the course of about three years? You know how it caught the attention of the internet for a brief moment? Well, that moment has been inexplicably stretched to breaking point – they are still in the public eye.
In today’s fame-fleeting times, “Josh and Michelle” have somehow managed to grasp onto their fifteen minutes, and turn it into probably about, I don’t know, 47 minutes or something.
After the first tweet went all virulent, Good Morning America got involved and interviewed the two of them, in a rather excruciating segment which demonstrated Josh’s enthusiasm being decidedly > than Michelle’s. Still, they’d banged themselves a free holiday, so you better believe they took it – all the way to sunny Maui.
And now they’re back, and the whole thing was filmed, which is obviously shit and annoying – if anyone filmed me on a date I would act like a completely different human being. Presumably this would make the date a success, but I’m a staunch believer in upholding my integrity – keeping it real, that’s the name of this virgin’s game.
Anyway, here’s what happened, and predictably, it is an extreme carnival of cringe:
Again, it appears that Josh is the eternal optimist:
“With everything going on, it's been kind of hard to talk about the little things, like when we do go back, but I'm pretty sure – she's so much fun – I know once we get back home, we're gonna wanna meet up again.”
Take it from me J-Dog – if she’s saying things like “We don't have any concrete plans yet, but I'm sure our paths will cross once we get back,” (which she is), then you know she’s been DMing some absolute hunk of proverbial junk behind your back. You’ve had your holiday, I’d say call it quits – this isn’t Love Island, so sticking together won’t get you a protein shake deal. Get back on Tinder, if I were you.
Of course, this is all coming from an emotionless husk whose body does not contain the necessary wiring to feel love, so maybe don’t listen to me.