The Millennium’s greatest entertainer has had success both in one of history’s greatest boybands and as a solo artist, he’s sold out Knebworth four nights in a row, he’s got a £17.5m mansion and has finally settled down after finding true love in his wife Ayda Field, but can he sleep easy at night?
No. Because he’s being haunted by the spirit of Michael Winner.
The director, restaurant critic and car insurance salesman was the previous owner of William’s Grade II listed ‘Woodland House’, a Victorian mansion in West London before he passed away, but it seems he’s not ready to move out just yet.
Discussing the situation on Loose Women, Ayda Field talked about feeling judged on her interior design choices by Winner: "I am kind of concerned because I'm like, 'Michael, do you like this? Is this OK with you?"
The ghost of Michael Winner is haunting the Robbie Williams household and is having a go at Ayda’s taste in furniture. Just process that, for a few moments at least. Clear your tasks, tell your boss you need to “take 5” and have a plaintive walk around the block. Let it sink in.
This is literally the opposite situation to that described in Robbie’s seminal hit Angels. Rather than offering protection, a lot of love and affection, through it all Michael Winner is offering condemnation and a lot of unwanted comments over decoration.
In many ways, this is simply the logical supernatural extension of his short-lived series Michael Winner’s Dining Stars, in which he would turn up in the homes of ordinary people and critique their cooking. Now, he’s turning up in his own home and slating everything. Floating down the hallways and tutting at the shabby varnish job on the stairs, ghosting through walls and moving picture frames a little bit higher and to the left, knocking over gaudy vases with a disapproving spectral finger.
But Ayda’s having none of it: "I am going to have it blessed, saged, the whole LA thing," she said. The ‘whole LA thing’ she refers to here is the Native American process of ‘saging’, where dry sage is burned in parts of a house to cleanse it of negative energies.
Robbie Williams and Ayda Field are trying to destroy the spirit of Michael Winner by burning stuff in their house because he’s too critical. Forget whatever ‘Brexit’ nonsense you've spent the morning occupying your brain with, this is the only news you need to think about today.