E-fits – pictures the police create and release to help identify the perpetrators of crime – are not always great, often appearing more “neural network has been fed exclusively images of clowns and spat out what it thinks a human being might look like” than “this is a real person who has committed a crime please help us find him”.
#EFIT of a Male #Police wish to speak to in relation to an attempt #Robbery of a 14 year old boy in the Cunliffe Road area of #Bradford @WestYorksPolice @CrimestoppersUK #DoYouKnowHim #Suspect ☎️ 101 https://t.co/VEBxjYbMMb pic.twitter.com/kMFLhcO1x7— Police - Regional Forensics (@RSSS_HQ) March 9, 2018
Which brings us to this, from Warwickshire Police.
At first, we thought, it had to be a parody. Surely this is not a real e-fit designed to catch a real criminal. Surely someone along the presumably fairly rigorous process of creating and sharing e-fits would have said, like, “we should probably make this dude’s mouth smaller, guys, because right now he looks a bit…off”.
But look closer, and you’ll see that it’s a blue-tick verified account: a real, actual account run by the police force.
Obviously, because it is ridiculous on literally every level, people kind of went in.
"distraction burglary" - I can see how that happened— Simon Detheridge (@GibletHead2000) April 3, 2018
Now if you don’t mind us, we’re off to have our every waking nightmare populated by e-fit men with giant mouths! Night!
(Image: Warwickshire Police)