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North Korea have launched their own version of Netflix

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Tristan Cross
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North Korea have launched their own state-run Netflix-rivaling streaming service and called it ‘Manbang.’

Whatever you think of the DPRK’s regime, you have to agree that ‘Manbang’ is a deluxe, five-star, certified-gold name. If you were the one in the brainstorm coming up with the name for DPRK’s Netflix-rivaling streaming service that leaned across the table and gently but firmly whispered ‘Manbang’, you’d take the rest of the year off. You’d delete every one of your other LinkedIn entries and just change your profile to ‘The Guy Who Came Up With Manbang’ and watch the offers role in.

Manbang. Say it out load. Manbang. Tease it around your mouth, alternate the stresses on the syllables. Manbang. Manbang. Get atop the nearest table and yodel it with all the might of your throat. MAN. BANG. Glorious.

“Hey, wanna come over for a Manbang and chill?” That’s what you would say if you lived in North Korea and were being flirtatious. We can split the neologist courting request ‘Netflix and chill’ into two composite parts: the (i) Netflix and the (ii) 'and chill'. Here, (i) is the pretext of watching a couple of episodes of Always Sunny or Stranger Things as an excuse to (ii) ‘chill’ – an innuendo for the lewd bedroom activities vaguely connected to romance we love to indulge in.

This is flipped with ‘Manbang and chill’, where (i) Manbang seems like the innuendo, and the (ii) chill seems like an actual invitation to ‘chill’, to bask in the post-coital glow. Absolutely no messing around, awkwardly pretending you both want to watch another episode of Community as you fumble closer together under the covers. You’d get down to some series Manbang – (which translates as ‘everywhere’, even saucier), and then relax together in front of some quality Manbang programming.

But what programming will you be reclining – nude and hopefully satisfied – to watch on the old Manbang? Some wonderful documentaries about their North Korea’s leaders and some articles from the official newspaper Rodong Sinmun. At least one afternoon’s viewing then.

There's also this weird screen cap from a show where children are being drenched by a raining mushroom which we cannot recommend you do not invite someone over to ‘Manbang and chill’ in front of strongly enough.

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Tristan Cross

Tristan Cross is the only writer in the UK

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