News

Nobody has ever been less funny than this weatherman

Posted by
Mike Rampton
Published

Q: Who would be the worst person to ever have as best man at your wedding?

A: NBC 15 meteorologist Charlie Shortino.

Why? Because Charlie Shortino is the least funny man in the world. Experience the agony of this exchange, which is so awkward that your cringe muscles will develop a six-pack:

So, he's suggesting that his colleague Christine Bellport, who has just finished an item involving a German shepherd, book a hotel room for herself and the dog so she can have sex with it. 

Like, that's not just rubbish. It's so much more than rubbish. It's unlikely, slanderous, implausible, would involve both Bellport and the hotel chain breaking the law, would involve endangering both the dog and Bellport, and is just a waste of the breath Sportino requires to say it.

Nevertheless, he follows it up with the assertion that doing this unlikely thing, having sex with a dog in a hotel room, would be the most sexual activity that Bellport had experienced in months. Two things that most people know but Sportino should probably be reminded of are:

1. Being friends with a dog does not equate to being sexually attracted to the dog and/or wishing to begin a no-strings-attached sexual relationship with it.

2. A few sexually inactive months does not tend to result in being sexually attracted to dogs.

Not only is Charlie Sportino a pretty dismal joke-teller, he possibly has some pretty weird views on how common bestiality is.