In terms of things that can cause palpable anxiety, “pictures of mugs at the edge of a table” is probably not high up on your list. You’ve probably never even thought about it. You probably think it sounds benign; trivial, even, compared to public speaking or a first date or one of those nightmares where suddenly you don’t have any pants on and everyone from work can see your bum.
BUT THAT’S BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MULTIPLE PICTURES OF MUGS AT THE EDGE OF A TABLE, WHICH IT TURNS OUT IS ACTUALLY MORE ANXIETY-INDUCING THAN ALL OF THOSE THINGS PUT TOGETHER.
The pictures were tweeted by Toronto councillor Norm Kelly, who said he’d been receiving the pictures “unsolicited” for several months.
What happened next was obvious: more HORRIBLE PICTURES OF MUGS AT THE EDGE OF A TABLE COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE GET ME SOME BETA BLOCKERS STAT.
Thankyou, internet: once again, we will be having nightmares about something completely and utterly banal!