It’s an undisputed fact that the three best things in life are sex, money and sleep. Sure, there are other things that you can argue make the list - having meaning and purpose, intimate human connection with others, a profound understanding of and appreciation for the world around you - but when it comes down to it, you can’t beat sex, money or sleep. An undeniable fact.
But it turns out - according to ‘science’, anyway - that one of these things is actually far less desirable than the others and that, just like your mum said when you were working that sub-minimum wage job, money can’t buy you happiness.
The data comes from a new happiness index developed by Oxford Economics and the National Centre for Social Research and commissioned by Sainsbury’s. 8,250 people were surveyed, with an average ‘wellbeing score’ of 62.2 - and apparently the things with the “strongest association” with happiness and wellbeing are sex and sleep, with money lagging behind at the back.
Even if you literally QUADRUPLE your salary it causes an incredibly small increase to wellbeing compared to the increases caused by good, frequent sex and being well rested; people with good sleep patterns were 15 points happier than those with rubbish sleep, and those who are satisfied sexually were seven points higher than their badly-sexed counterparts.
But increasing your household income from £12,5000 to £50,000 only makes you two points more happy.
Older people are also happier than young people, with the happiest of us all being parents with young children and baby boomers who still work. Childfree people in their 30s had the least life satisfaction and the fewest friends, which is…depressing.
Don’t get too excited, though - other recent research found that even tame sex positions like missionary put you at risk of damaging your bits. Nobody wins. Especially not your penis.