I’ve said it before and I will say it again: testicles are a mystery to me. Their nuances and subtleties remain elusive: a riddle wrapped in an enigma inside some cheap Topman boxers.
Lucky, then, that new research is here to enlighten me on the topic: and, according to Tonic, the hot new trend in your old orchestra stalls is….
Spraying them with loads of deodorant!
Yep, that’s right: your balls stink, mate, and you need to sort it out.
One brand, Bálla for Men, reported a huge increase in sales last year – 2,000 units in 2010 was transformed to 50,000 last year. Likewise, ‘Man Powder’ had a 60% sales increase; ‘Fresh Balls’ (yes, these are all real names) have had a 200% sales increase. Which is a lot of balls, when you think about it.
Other inventive brands include ‘Dry Goods’, ‘DZ Nuts’, ‘ToppCock’ and ‘Driball’, which to be honest all sound like brands of ballpoint pen.
Comfy Boys say sweaty balls happen when “a man sits for a long period of time either at the office or in front of the TV”. Fresh Balls is “for the everyday man wearing a suit”.
But not everyone is as convinced. George Preti, an organic chemist who extremely glamorously specialises in sweat, says that ball deodorant is “ridiculous”. “Nobody complains about scrotum odours at social distances,” he said, clearly never having met my ex boyfriend. “If they do, take a shower. Soap and water does a lot of good”.
So there we have it: expert approved advice. Just have a shower, lads. Please.
(Image credit: Balla for Men)