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The Onion's recurring headlines after mass shootings in America are, tragically, perfect

Time and time again

The Onion's recurring headlines after mass shootings in America are, tragically, perfect
Tom Victor
21 May 2018

We’ve long passed the point where satire is dead, and it’s hard to claim we’re richer for it.

And while there have been times we’ve been able to laugh at satirical jokes being lived out in the real world, the American gun control debate does not fall under that banner.

This week, a mass shooter in Texas claimed the lives of 10 innocent people, with a further 13 injured, during an rampage at the Santa Fe High School, bringing the tally up to 102 mass shootings in 2018 alone.

In 2014, following the killing of several people in Isla Vista, California, satirical site The Onion ran a piece with the headline: ‘‘’No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens.”

The publication did the same in June 2015 after the Charleston church shootings, October 2015 after the Umpqua Community College shooting and in December of the same year, one day after the San Bernardino attack - and ever since, they have run the story again and again.

Now, in a depressingly predictable way, it has been run again in light of events in Texas.


Read more: This is what gun-mad America would look like if they’d never changed their Amendments


Each of The Onion’s stories on the matter carry the same quotes, attributed to different fictional individuals, while changing the details and main image to reflect the latest incident.

It demonstrates the broad similarity of the situations, pointing out that – if nothing was done following previous incidents – we should not hold out too much hope for a different response now. It’s become one of their most famous headlines - and one we’re sure they’d rather never have to run again.

The Onion has also put out other, related headlines at various moments in time, including these pieces of utter brilliance:


Read more: Gun-loving American destroys his prized weapon in emotional video


According to CNN, 48% of the estimated 650 million civilian-owned guns in the world belong to American citizens, and the US holds 31% of global mass shooters despite the country only making up 5% of the world’s population.

Other countries have higher gun-homicide rates than the United States, though the country has a significantly higher rate than in any other high-income country.

Will The Onion ever stop having the run these headlines? Unless something drastic changes - and they stop on their own for no reason - then we doubt it.

(Images: Getty/The Onion)