It transpired that this story was a marketing stunt in Germany, but it's so fun we're keeping it anyway...
"She's taking half."
You know the line - oft-used by expensive attorneys in Hollywood movies to demonstrate how 50 per cent of some rich guy's assets are about to be swallowed up by a spurned spouse. Well now one jilted boyfriend in Germany has beaten his partner to the punch.
In the wake of a messy breakup, the man in question took all the belongings he shared with his former girlfriend, sawed them right down the middle, put his half on eBay and then posted the opposing segments to his ex. He also filmed it.
"Thank you for 12 beautiful years Laura," he wrote alongside a YouTube montage of him cutting all these items which included an iPhone 5, a sofa, house phone, MacBook, TV and a car. YES, an actual car, minus the back seats, which was put up on eBay for the bargain price of £2.
Hammering this point home, he also added: "You've really earned half. Greetings to my successor".
Click the gallery below to see the best of them though be warned, quickly flicking through the images of cut open products is a bit like watching The Generation Game through the eyes of Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Though for all the wanton destruction, lest we forget there’s a heartbroken man behind this mayhem. He even sawed an REM record in half for goodness sake.
Because sometimes everybody hurts.