There are probably about four people in the UK who aren’t sick of ‘You’re Beautiful’ by James Blunt. Five, tops. For most people, ‘You’re Beautiful’ is not only the absolute worst in mindless, overplayed, saccharine pop music, but also inspires a legitimate and horrifying spiral of existential boredom and dread.
For others, however – presumably people who haven’t owned or been in proximity to a single radio since the early 2000s – ‘You’re Beautiful’ is still good: so much so, in fact, that for some reason they actively choose it as their wedding song. And if you’re in this camp, James Blunt has a message for you: you’re “fucked up”.
“Everyone goes, ‘Ah, he’s so romantic. I want ‘You’re Beautiful’ as my wedding song’,” Blunt said in an interview with Huffington Post. “These people are fucked up.”
Blunt – who may have literally prevented World War III – also acknowledges how annoying incessant airplay has been for the rest of us: “too much of a good thing turns into a bad thing,” he said. “I love hamburgers, but if you give me a hamburger for every meal I’m gonna tire of it.”
“Is it an annoying song? No, unless it’s shoved down your fucking throat a shitload.”
And far from being a “soft romantic song”, Blunt says, the song is actually deeply fucking weird.
“You get labelled with these things like, ‘Oh, James Blunt. Isn’t he just a soft romantic?’. Well fuck that. No, I’m not.
“‘You’re Beautiful’ is not this soft romantic fucking song. It’s about a guy who’s high as a fucking kite on drugs in the subway stalking someone else’s girlfriend when that guy is there in front of him, and he should be locked up or put in prison for being some kind of perv.”
Kind of settles the first dance question, really.