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This hermit crab using a doll’s head as its shell will haunt your dreams forever

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Emily Reynolds
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Let’s get straight to it, this crab is fucked up. I really hate this crab:

crab

A fucked up crab

Have you looked at it? Have you really, truly looked at it? The blank stare of the baby’s hollow eyes. The passive gleam of the crabs legs. The fact that a CRAB is walking around with a DISCARDED DOLL’S HEAD on its OWN HEAD as a shell.

What’s happened here, according to the person who uploaded the picture to Reddit, is that a hermit crab, in looking for a new shell, ha instead come across this doll’s head, and decided it’ll do just dandily.

Hermit crabs’ soft, exposed abdomens leave them pretty vulnerable to predators, so they run around looking for shells or coconuts to tuck themselves inside for protection. Or, like this crab, they tuck themselves inside a discarded baby’s head because they are the work of some kind of ungodly entity bent on destroying hope, joy, peace and goodwill.

crab

A normal hermit crab, which only offends me because I, personally, am incredibly allergic to crab

Things I would enjoy seeing walk towards me at night more than I would enjoy seeing this crab walking towards me at night: 

  • The guy with the mask who kills all of those people from the film Halloween
  • The clown from It who murders all those children or puts them in the sewer or whatever it is that he does, I don’t know because I haven’t got round to seeing it yet
  • Any sinister clown, even if unrelated to It
  • Any of my exes
  • The literal embodiment of the spectre of death

So yeah, this is horrible isn’t it.  Ban it. Put it in the bin like cat bin lady put that cat in the bin. Thanks.

(Image: The depths of hell, and also Reddit)

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Emily Reynolds

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