It can’t be easy being Chad Kroeger. You’ve got to feel for the guy. In 2008, The Guardian named him as one of their Douchebags Of The Year (“self-important drunk driver and propagator of the worst music ever. with bad hair,” they said); a pickle triumphed in its quest to get more fans than his band Nickelback’s Facebook page back in 2010; and he wrote Rockstar, which is widely, and rightly, considered to be the worst song of all time. Chad’s got it tough. Real tough.
But now, at least, there’s a glimmer of positivity shining down on old Chad’s big weird curly yellow head. Sure, it’s a glimmer of positivity in the shape of the biggest backhanded compliment since your last Tinder date said, “I love your eyes, they're so... far apart”, but when you’re Chad Kroeger, you take those glimmers and you run with them. You run into the sunset, clicking your heels and punching the air.
Pray silence, for this is Chad's moment.
Chad Kroeger, frontman of the worst rock band in history, creator of unrelenting musical bilge, and owner of dreadful sunglasses, is more popular than The Donald.
Get in there, Chad! Good man! YES! Beers on Chad!
In a set of results that are definitely going to warm the heart of our Chad, Nickelback came out smelling of roses when pitched against the US presidential hopeful in a recent popularity Public Policy Poll.
We’re so happy for Nickelback. So happy. So SO happy, in fact, that we almost don’t want to report on other painfully dreadful things, such as root canal fillings, used-car salesmen and head lice, that also beat Trump in this high-stakes poll. We don’t need to know that. Let us all allow Nickelback to have their moment. Let us all sit back and think of Chad, smiling from ear to ear, revelling in the glory of finally, finally, being liked more than something else.
“To be fair, Mr. Trump only loses by single digits to some of these,” explained Rachel Maddow from MSNBC while reporting on the results. “I mean, he’s running pretty close to Nickelback. Overall, this is a list of things you do not really want to be losing to. It’s narrow, but a win is a win. Donald Trump is held in higher esteem than hemorrhoids by a margin of six points and he’s held in higher esteem than cockroaches by a margin of four points.”
Nickelback – better than Trump, still a lot worse than everything else.