Who’d have thought the animal with the stupidest head had the stupidest skull?
Think of dumb heads, and you think of a hammerhead shark, don’t you? Someone comes up to you and says “What’s the biggest idiot head you can think of?” and you would adjust your tie and say “It is the head of a hammerhead shark, the most rubbish head in all the land.”
This is exactly what would happen, because why? Well, because the hammerhead shark possesses the absolute biggest piece of ridiculous flesh for a head, does it not?
Look at this!
What a moron! How does it see where it’s going? How did it evolve? Why did it evolve like that?
Anyway, strap yourself in tight, because things are about to get 100% more ridiculous:
Imagine if your skull looked like that. Like, you died, and your soul floated out of your body, and then, maybe a year later you thought “Hmm, might go and check on my dead body to see what it’s doing” and so you floated back down into the sea and saw your own skeleton, including skull. What would you rightly say?
You would say: “Oh, was that what my skull looked like? That thing was actually in my head?” And then a normal shark that had also died and whose soul was also joining you on your little trip down memory lane, would say “I’m not sure what you expected, because your actual head, with all the skin on it, still looked so lame that we all made fun of you behind your back. Although obviously you never saw us mocking you because your eyes are miles away from anything, you idiot.”
Oh man, really just cannot get over what a piece of crap this dumb skull is. Look at these:
What's this? Definitely not something we found in Area 51. This is the skull of a hammerhead #shark (minus the jaw). Now you know what's under the cephalofoil--the wide head. The wide-set eyes paired with their ampullae of Lorenzini make them efficient hunters. #SummerOfSpecimens pic.twitter.com/gvu4ZqWBZK— Florida Museum (@FloridaMuseum) July 5, 2018
Jesus absolute Christ - they’re not skulls. If you found one on the beach you’d just as much think it was a Land Rover Discovery than a skull - it looks as much like a 4X4 as it does the functioning, useful skull of a definitely real animal. What a shame, to own that skull, for it to house your brain - the very organ that recognises how stupid your skull is, relies on it to protect it. What a quandry!
Anyway, at least you now know what the dorkiest animal on the planet’s even more wack skull looks like. Can you wedgie a shark? You should, for having a skull like that. Really easy to sneak up behind one, too - they’re far too busy looking at two separate things about 2 miles away, on account of their REALLY STUPID FACE AND HEAD!
Still, beautiful in their own way, right?