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Either this is the most naïve Gumtree advert in existence or we’re all being trolled

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Gary Ogden
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Either this is the most naïve Gumtree advert in existence or we’re all being trolled 1

“I don’t think it would be legal to use on the road”

Gumtree is weird - lots of strange old adverts up on that there website, for sure. Like, if you want, you can probably hire some bloke who’ll dress up as a giraffe and clean your oven for like a tenner - everything is on Gumtree. 

However, there are also a lot of normal things, like Playstations, or car tyres, or old motorcycle helmets. 

You know, like the one that “Matt” put up:

Either this is the most naïve Gumtree advert in existence or we’re all being trolled 2

“Matt” accompanied it with the following description:

My grandfather passed away recently and I was asked to clean out his shed/garage to see what was of value to sell.

I came across this old motorcycle helmet, which I think must be from the 1940’s or thereabouts. It’s leather and doesn’t have any Australian standard tags, so I don’t think it would be legal to use on the road, but could perhaps be used in the man cave as a cool prop?

How lovely. What a cute advert to stick up on Gumtree there. Found his grandad’s old motorcycle helmet and thought he’d sell it. 

There’s loads of helmets up for sale on the website, and you’ll never run out of biking enthusiasts, so it seems the perfect place for it. 

For the helmet. The motorcycle helmet. That that is a picture of.

And it’s only $200 for it! $200 for definitely a bike helmet, that could actually save your life - there’s no price on safety, so you should probably snap it up asap. Just imagine it, you on your Harley, zooming down the freeway with that cool, hip and fashionable helmet on your head. Dennis Hopper, eat your heart out! 

Also, it covers your face, so if you do happen to have a spill, then you’ll be protecting that lovely skin of yours, too - this is an all-rounder - it even stretches down to your neck, it really does cover all bases.

It’s what Matt’s grandad would have wanted - you to wear his prized helmet, for you to put your face where his was, where he once wore it. 

Sure, it’s used, but it’s just a helmet, it’s not like it’s ever been used for anything dirty, is it? That thing looks clean, probably doesn’t even need a wash. Just put your lips right in that snug life-saver.

Although you might be too late - weirdly, we can’t find the original advert anymore, so it’s probably been snapped up - bargains like that don’t stay around for long, clearly. 

DAMMIT, YOU COULD HAVE WORN IT DURING SEX AND EVERYTHING!!!

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(Image: Gumtree)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

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