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Donald Trump has praised Vladimir Putin as a 'better leader' than Barack Obama

More great news from America's least terrifying Presidential candidate

Donald Trump has praised Vladimir Putin as a 'better leader' than Barack Obama
08 September 2016

Ah, Donald Trump. If there are three more comforting words to start a sentence with than "Donald Trump has...", then you should record yourself saying them and make a fortune selling it as a sleep therapy tape. We enjoy nothing more than reclining on our comfiest chair, opening our preferred news source and letting all the latest things Donald Trump has done soothe us like a gentle breeze. Have a gander at these and feel a sensation of intense relaxation come over you: 

Donald Trump has claimed global warming is a hoax invented by the Chinese to gain a competitive edge. Donald Trump has suggested his Presidential opponent Hillary Clinton should be assassinated. Donald Trump has claimed he will get the US military to commit war crimes for him. Donald Trump has asked his foreign policy advisors why the US can't use their nuclear weapons. Ahhhh, bliss.

But wait, there's more! Donald Trump has praised Vladimir Putin for being a 'better leader' than Barack Obama. 

Now, given that Vladimir Putin has recently been discovered to have been building a series of nuclear bunkers across Moscow, you might find the prospect of two nuke-happy potential world leaders cosying up to each other only slightly terrifying, but consider: if the two are on good terms, they probably won't fire them at each other! Hooray! I mean, they could well choose to gang up on literally any other country in the world and obliterate them like sadistic toddlers with massive magnifying glasses melting ants, but at the end of the day we're all going to die anyway, so is there any point in prolonging this hellish facade we call life much longer?

Bring on the nukes we say!