News

Do small hands really mean you have a small penis?

Posted by
Nick Pope
Published

The ‘small hands = small penis’ theory has long been the subject of rumour and pub-based piss takery.

But it entered the political realm last month when Donald Trump explained to a crowd that, despite the constant accusations that surround his ickle wickle child paws, he has “no problem" in the trouser department.

(Yeah, sorry about mentioning Donald Trump’s dong out of the blue like that. Urgh. Go have a shower, maybe do a puzzle, and come back when you’re ready.)

And now that the theory has been all but legitimised by many of America’s Republican elite, it’s about time that someone in the know had a say on the matter.

That’s why Discovery News decided to do some research to settle the debate once and for all.

And the answer? Maybe kinda but probably definitely not.

A study in the journal BJU International looked at and systematically reviewed tens of thousands of male members, and found absolutely no strong correlation.

There is, however “very shaky” evidence linking digit ratio of the second and fourth fingers to hormone exposure in the womb (that thing people used to do at school to belittle you in front of girls), which could have possibly effected penile proportions.

So the overall verdict? It's probably just a load of your mates being cruel to you but do check out the video below if you're really worried about your tiny hands and hear about the study in full.