Rich people. You know what? They deserve it. That’s the fact of the matter isn’t it. Yes, of course they are helped out with ‘small loans of a million dollars’, are often born into privileged surroundings, are given privileged access to old boys networks, are lucky enough to be born with God-given talent, are lucky enough to get the breaks that other people with God-given talent don’t get, are lucky enough that their God-given talent happens to be something that people are actually willing lots of money for, but really – apart from all that – it’s probably just because they’re better than you are and they completely deserve every last penny of their gargantuan income.
So, as Forbes reveals its list of the top 100 highest-paid entertainers, we worked out exactly how much better are they are than you, via the medium of the number of servings of avocado toast they could have bought in the last year and the number of multiples of the average UK wage they netted.
Here are the 10 highest earners last year...
10. LeBron James - $86m (£67.8m)
Numbers of servings of avocado toast at £5.50 a pop: 12,327,272
Number of average (£27,600) UK salaries: 2,457
Earnings per minute: £129
He’s one of the greatest basketball players of all-time and he is, specifically, 2,457 times better than you are as a person.
9. James Patterson - $87m (£68.53m)
Earnings per minute: £130
He writes popular books, and he could have smashed down 12,460,000 portions of avocado toast if he hadn’t been busy being so much more bloody successful than you.
8. Coldplay - $88m (£69.33m)
Earnings per minute: £132
They get to tour the world, and in the time it takes them to play popular chart hit ‘Fix You’ during one of their massive concerts, they’ve earned £660. You probably don’t even earn that in a week, do you, you waste of space.
7. Howard Stern - $90m (£70.86m)
Earnings per minute: £135
He’s a ‘shock jock’ and a former America’s Got Talent judge so after a hard day spent being offensive on the airwaves and crushing people’s dreams on TV, he likes to relax by swimming in his pile of 12,883,636 avocado toast portions.
6. The Weeknd - $92m (£72.45m)
Earnings per minute: £138
He can’t feel his face when he’s with you, because he’s so disgusted at having to be in the company of someone who is 1/2625 as successful as he is. Get away from him, you oxygen thief.
5. Cristiano Ronaldo - $93m (£73.2m)
Earnings per minute: £139
It only takes a second to score a goal, but it only takes a second for Cristiano to earn £2.32. He’d literally be wasting his time if he stopped to pick up a two pound coin from the street. You’d pick it up though wouldn’t you. You disgrace.
4. Drake - $94m (£74.06m)
Earnings per minute: £141
Why is Drake always so sad? Because he bought 13,465,454 portions of advocado toast and it’s physically impossible for him to eat them all.
3. JK Rowling - $95m (£74.8m)
Earnings per minute: £142
She doesn’t even have to bother writing another book ever again and she’ll still pick up £142 a minute. Now that’s bloody magic.
2. Beyonce Knowles - $105m (£82.7m)
Earnings per minute: £157
Forget Lemonade, Queen Bey has got 15,036,363 portions of avocado toast waiting for her in her gigantic kitchen at home, and she’s gonna be truly Bootylicious when she’s wolfed down all of them.
1. Sean "Diddy" Combs - $130m (£102m)
Earnings per minute: £194
Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Diddy/Diddy Dirty Money might be one of the worst rappers ever but he’s got his business interests absolutely on point and he is officially 3,696 times better than you.