Of all the basic tasks you’d have thought you, an adult human being, were on top of, “successfully putting your deodorant on in the morning” should probably be somewhere on the list. Y’know: buy the deodorant…remember to put it on? That’s about it, surely?
WELL APPARENTLY NOT, YOU BLOODY IDIOT. According to Dr. Dawn Harper, who you probably know best from handling gammy penises on Embarrassing Bodies, we’ve all been putting our deodorant on wrong this whole time.
Writing for Cosmopolitan, Dr. Harper outlined the four - FOUR! - mistakes you’ve been making when trying to complete this incredibly easy and simple task.
1. Putting it on wet skin
You might think putting your deodorant on as soon as you’re clean is the best way to prevent yourself smelling bad. But: if you’re still wet, your skin is unable to absorb the deodorant. To get the best results, Dr. Harper says, “apply antiperspirant to completely dry skin”.
2. Putting it on in the morning
This one, to be fair, is slightly less obvious: apparently we shouldn’t just be putting our deodorant on in the mornings after all, and should be applying it before we go to bed.
“Apply at night before going to bed to allow to dry fully,” she writes. “Leave on overnight and wash off any residue in the morning with soap and water.”
3. Not letting it dry
Apparently this is a pretty common problem - not letting your deodorant dry properly. Dr. Harper suggests the “using a hairdryer on a cool setting to help it along”, if you ever needed to do something in front of someone you’ve slept with to ensure they literally never speak to you ever again.
4. Putting it on every day
If you’re putting your deodorant on every day that’s…apparently too much? Dr. Harper suggests that if you “get one that’s good enough” there’s no need for a daily application. “Apply 2 strokes up and 2 strokes down to each armpit. You should only need to do this once or twice a week.”
Who’d have thought, eh?