This weekend looks set to be a scorcher – highs of 29C are expected in some parts of the country on Sunday. That’s the sort of temperature that’ll leave at least one member of your office (it’s you, isn’t it. It’s going to be you) looking like a boiled lobster when they stagger into work on Monday morning.
This obviously means it’s barbecue season – your chance to prove what a real man you are by slapping a few burgers down on the grill while wearing nothing but shorts and an apron – just like dad taught you.
All you really need for a successful barbecue is some meat, some cans and some mates (that’s me out), but if you want to take your barbie to the next level, then Asda are the unlikely heroes stepping up to help – take a look at this:
That’s one massive paddling pool, complete with four actual seats, for just 30 quid. That’s a bargain. Unless you can’t fit it in your garden then you’re an idiot for not buying it, basically.
The pool holds 836 litres of water, which is the same amount The Daily Mail say you have to drink every day to make sure you don’t get cancer, and while parking your butt down in one of those seats with a cold beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other sounds like bliss, I’m already thinking of other possibilities.
You could buy loads and loads of ice, chuck some cold water in, and use it as a giant beer cooler which you can actually sit in. You could fill it top to bottom with beer, and play a game where no one is allowed to leave the pool before it’s been drunk dry. You shouldn’t do this, because you would die, but you could.
I’m also thinking about how well this would go with another supermarket summer bargain – that massive 16oz steak the good people of Aldi are selling for less than a fiver.
OK, so it’s only 1p less than a fiver, but it’s 16 ounces of steak so you can’t whinge. We’ve just sorted your weekend for you – you can thank us on Monday – you big, gross boiled lobster.
Oh, and you can buy that paddling pool here.