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Do you agree with this man’s bold excuse for parking across *four* spaces?

Posted by
Gary Ogden
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When I used to drive, I would admittedly find the parking space that was furthest away from most other cars, because I didn’t want any heavy-handed lunk-heads wanging their sodding Clio door into the side of my car. As a fail-safe method, it was unfortunately fail-unsafe, because it most certainly happened on at least two occasions. Those arseholes wheel-spun away scott-free, too.

So what do you do to stop people denting your whip? Do you coat your doors in duct-tape? Do you encircle your parking space with a ring of flames? Do you employ a car doorman to guard your metal while you pop off to buy some more chamois leathers?

No, you do this:

This picture, found on the Spotted: Spalding Facebook page shows a man who knows what he’s doing. It shows a man who will not bow down to the painted constraints of a poxy local government-owned car park, designed to pen us in like hens. No, he’ll park on the sun if he has to – ain’t nobody got time for dents.

This rogue boundary crosser is one Fabio Silva, who explained his rebellion against the man:

"This is jokes. Nothing quite like parking and taking up 4 spaces.

"Start spending hundreds of pounds on your car and then you'll understand where I'm coming from.

"Sorry for not wanting idiots ruining my pride and joy."

I find it hard to disagree with him – car parks are full of idiots, and they’ll not so as much blink before shunting their doors into your nice motor. It’s a liberty.

Only problem is, parking like this causes two more potential problems: firstly, it invites people with smaller cars to try and squeeze in, greatly increasing the chance of scuffing; secondly, you’re pissing people off, which greatly increases the chance of some red-faced steampot vengefully running their key down your side panels because they’re in a huff. It’s a risky road.

All in all, it’s a true divider of opinion – something that can proved by looking at Ye Olde Cultural Barometer: The Internet. Facebook comments form on both sides of the argument. Firstly, against:

“What a knob”

“4 spaces , well done !!! Not”

“nothing like drawing attention to yourself....especially with illegal lights”

Now, in agreement:

“And seeing some tw** open their door on another car I don't blame them for parking their car like that”

“If ill mannered people didn't damage people cars by mindlessly opening their doors on to cars or walking through cars instead of waking around people wouldn't feel the need to park like this”

“it's just a seat thing I always park similar to you, I know how you feel when someone caught my rear bumper it was silly money, people have no respect for other people's cars me and you both know the feeling when someone hits you and nd causes damage so all I can say is carry on doing it 

[sic]

What do you reckon? Is he in the clear with this one, or should he be reprimanded? Is he justified or selfish? Legend or bastard? Careful or careless? True or false? Slug or snail? Salt or vinegar? Dick or Dom? Batman Vs. Superman?

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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