Sometimes, it’s just fun to lie
Irish Times journalist Seamas O’Reilly went viral on the internet only a month ago after revealing a truly wild story about the time he ended up accidentally working a shift serving at a music venue when the Mary McAleese, the President of Ireland, came to visit. Oh, and he was on ketamine at the time.
Obviously, hilarity ensues, and the whole thread is worth a read:
But he’s only gone and done it again.
No, not meeting a head of state while smacked up on horse tranquiliser - going viral on the old internet.
This time, he revealed the best lie he’s ever told, urging others to come forward and tell the stories of their best ever untruths, in an internet lie amnesty.
To be fair, his is an absolute corker: “In my 20s I told dozens of people that Michael Schumacher’s fave song was Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, cos he thought it was about fast cars. Literally every single person I told believed me.”
In my 20s I told dozens of people that Michael Schumacher's fave song was Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, cos he thought it was about fast cars. Literally every single person I told belived me.— Seamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) June 6, 2018
I hereby declare a LIE AMNESTY- gimme the best lie you've heard/told/been telling for yrs.
And, God bless you all, people responded with some cracking lies, that are so good that we wish they were actually true.
Feast your eyes on this lot and, hey, why not try spreading some of these yourselves?
Somebody I know told American tourists that Irish dancing was invented when Irish people had parties but didn't want the British soldiers to look through the window and see them partying.— Christopher McKeown (@IrwinsFreeKick) June 6, 2018
Not me but a mate used to tell people that Roni Size got his big break by being the bloke who said ‘TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO’ on No Limits by 2Unlimited. She got the perfect payoff when someone repeated the lie back to her as fact.— Nick Miller (@NickMiller79) June 6, 2018
I don't know how long he kept it up for but a friend of mine convinced a kid at his school that Fabrizio Ravanelli was Welsh and his surname was pronounced "Rava-nethli".— Tom Wiggins (@WiggoWiggo) June 6, 2018
On a trip to Edinburgh with the wife, I pointed to the castle and told her that Sean Connery lives there. Forgot to tell her otherwise until she brought it up at the end of trip dinner with some actual Edinburgians.— ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (@chiefcrewboss) June 6, 2018
I still tell people my dad doesn't speak English and my mum doesn't speak Spanish but it's okay because they just *get* each other— s t e p h (@corcra) June 6, 2018
I tell Americans that Lady Gaga can't use the title "Lady" in the UK because it has a specific legal status. She has to call herself "Mrs Gaga".— vints vorn (@headbandmike) June 6, 2018
I've convinced loads of people that Bob Marley was born in Cardiff, round the corner from Shirley Bassey, and emigrated to Jamaica as a boy.— Jamie Nelmes (@Nelmo67) June 6, 2018
In the early 2000s I ripped a copy of an Air album onto my gf's computer for her. Being the olden days I had to fill in the track's titles myself so I made them up using my very limited French. For years she thought 'Je m'appelle Air' and 'Baguette Funk' were genuine song names.— Damhán (@DavMcLaughlin) June 6, 2018
My girlfriend, @theamandabird, casually mentioned that the gap between Christmas and New Year is called the Merineum. It was only after I told my boss (a partner in a law firm) this quirky fact that she realised I didn’t know what the perineum is... 😳— James Foley (@abitdoubtful) June 6, 2018
A friend told a group of Americans that in the UK your National Insurance number is actually your position in line to the throne.— Leon Black (@DrLeonBlack) June 7, 2018
Went to Australia and school mates asked if I'd seen Kylie and Jason. Initially said no, but got asked a lot and eventually said yes. Got called out on it because Kylie had been on Top of the Pops. I sneeringly retorted that it's not filmed live, duh, and achieved lying mastery.— Sarion Bowers (@SarionBowers) June 6, 2018
My brother was born on our national holiday. For the first 5 years of his life he was told all the fireworks and celebrations were just because he was born. Blew his mind when he found out the truth— Nick Wells (@nickwellsy) June 6, 2018
My then gf asked why Sheffield Wednesday were called that. Impulsively, I said Sheffield was such a football town it boasted a team for each day of the week. Over time, the other six merged into Sheffield United, leaving only this one. She believed me. & rightly never forgave me.— (((David Bennun))) (@DavidBennun) June 6, 2018
The best one I heard was on the Football 365 forum - some guy thought for years that he’d been on a cruise to New York as a kid. Turned out that his dad had taken him on the Mersey Ferry to Liverpool but his old man had kept up the lie for years.— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) June 6, 2018
When I was at uni, 3 flatmates & I took loads of pictures at the German market in Leeds (every fucking town does one now but it wasn't really a Thing then...only Manchester did it) and convinced the 5th flatmate we'd been on a last-minute break to Hamburg. Believed us for years.— Steven Chicken (@StevenChicken) June 6, 2018
When I was about 11/12 my dad told me tv commentators had to call Arsenal 'Bumnal' before a 9pm watershed— Carole (@Cartruckandbus) June 6, 2018
And, er, what?
Busta Rhymes lived in Morecambe as a teenager, and was part of a Preston breakdance crew. Except it turns out that's probably true.— joe. (@joethekiller) June 6, 2018
As a Morecambe resident I can confirm it is completely true. His aunt lived here and he was sent over to stay with her one summer (like the Fresh Prince, except not). He also got done for nicking some trainers out of Woolies.— hoskas (@hoskas) June 6, 2018
This is, amazingly, true.
My best lie? Convincing most of Glastonbury that Paolo Nutini’s real name was Paul Nutkins. Great days.