Generally speaking, we’re a good bunch here in Britain. Socially awkward, lumbered by our stiff upper lip and unquenchable thirst for tea, but a good bunch nonetheless.
Take us away from the fine shores of Blighty though and it all goes arse over tit. We’re confused by the world, lost, sunburnt and quite probably terrified the second we step onto alien soil. And thus, according to new information released by her majesty's government, we react in the only way humanly possible, the only honest way to survive… we call the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.
Here are five Brits that just could not deal with foreign life.
A man planning to move to Spain called because he was worried he would encounter nudists walking through the streets. Because as we know, Spaniards love being naked.
A homesick expat asked where he could buy English bacon. This one sort of makes sense because: NO ONE KNOWS BACON LIKE WE DO.
A lady in Lebanon called looking for help in recruiting an English butler. Seriously.
A woman got in touch to complain she was disappointed the British Embassy had not sent someone to give her a tour of St. Petersburg on her arrival in Russia.
A British man asking for assistance to get illegal employment in Singapore. Everything about this one is hilarious.
Speaking of the ridiculous calls, Foreign and Commonwealth Office Minister James Duddridge said:
“Every minute they spend handling a call requesting advice on butlers or nudists is time taken away from dealing with life and death cases, so I urge the public to think before picking up the phone.”
And he’s right people. The next time that you’re in a panic just have a brew and calm down.