Did the last stag you went on get a little out of hand?
Avoid prison and a lifetime of shame with our guide to these (slightly) more sophisticated Stag Dos.
THE SPORTY ONES: SEA KAYAKING
Where: Isle Of Skye, Scotland
What: Want to wow the stag with an exhilarating adventure that doesn’t involve being shot in the face with a paintball? How about sea kayaking around Skye? It’s wild, windswept and brimming with barking seals: explore the area’s remote beaches before availing yourself of ale and local mussels in the Arisaig Hotel.
Make it happen: £85pp; arisaigseakayakcentre.co.uk
Where: New Zealand
What: If the idea of waking up with a glowstick bracelet and a sore throat doesn’t appeal to you, then skip the whole ‘Beefa’ thing and spend a few days heli-surfing the pristine beaches of New Zealand’s South Island. Waiting around for the perfect wave to break is for losers; let a private chopper whisk your party from one epic, isolated beach to the next, in pursuit of that velvet-smooth ‘supertube’. In the evenings, relax at a chic hotel beside Lake Wakatipu.
Make it happen: From £11,122pp; blacktomato.com
Where: Spolo, Warwick
What: Like traditional polo, Segway Polo – ‘spolo’ – is fiercely competitive. Unlike traditional polo, there’s no braying (from either the horses or the spectators).
Make it happen: £1,000 per team; spolo.co.uk
Where: The Grove, Hertfordshire
What: This splendid manor has an immaculate championship course. You don’t have to be a member – anyone can shank their way around. The Grove can also arrange a barbecue around the outdoor pool.
Make it happen: From £130 a round; thegrove.co.uk
Where: Banyan Tree Al Wadi, UAE
What: Even if you’re accustomed to luxury, this resort in the Arabian Desert will blow your Gucci loafers off. Here, you can learn to hunt using falcons, take a horseback safari and chill in an ‘ice igloo’. Use the JetSmarter app to book an Uber-style private plane, and skip check-in.
Make it happen: From £139pp; banyantree.com
THE FOODIE ONES: WILD FOOD CLASS
Where: Hunter Gather Cook, Sussex
What: Badass wild cookery including butchery, fire-making, grilling and cocktail-making. No spoon-whittling in sight.
Make it happen: From £100pp; huntergathercook.com
Where: Small Batch Coffee, Covent Garden
What: Learn the art of coffee-making from a top barista, play with expensive machinery and get turnt up on Fairtrade caffeine.
Make it happen: From £95pp; smallbatchcoffee.co.uk
Where: Sea Fishing Trips, North Wales
What: Want to make your last meal as a ‘free’ man spectacular? You’ll hunt for lobsters, learn about their conservation, then scoop up a bunch of the tasty pinchers for dinner.
Make it happen: £45pp; sea-fishing-trips.co.uk
THE ZEN ONES: MOUNTAIN SPA
Where: Aqua Dome, Austria
What: Head to the Aqua Dome to enjoy its massive panoramic windows and huge, bowl-shaped baths; think more along the lines of invigorating brine pools, rather than candles.
Make it happen: £19pp (three-hour entry pass); aqua-dome.at
Where: Espa Life at The Corinthia, London
What: In this five-star hotel, those with deep pockets can enjoy hardcore spa fun, including a vitality pool and ice fountain.
Make it happen: £150pp; espalifeatcorinthia.com
Where: Beer Spa Bernard, Prague
What: At Beer Spa Bernard you can take a one-hour hop bath. Each tub has an ice cold pilsner tap. Drink as much as you like – it’s included in the price.
Make it happen: £234 for six; pivnilaznebernard.cz
THE VEHICLE ONES: TANK DRIVING EXPERIENCE
Where: Armourgeddon, Leicestershire
What: Take the stag’s mind off wedding favours by roaring around an old Second World War bombing range in a 15 ton tank.
Make it happen: £99; armourgeddon.co.uk
Where: Per Aquum Niyama resort, Maldives
What: If money is no object, fly to the Maldives. Take a boat to Sub Six, the Niyama hotel’s underwater bar, 6m below the waterline, and descend the ornate spiral staircase. The aquarium-like drinking palace has spectacular views of reef sharks, turtles and parrotfish.
Make it happen: From £520 a night; minorhotels.com
THE WTF ONES: PRIVATE PARTY ISLAND
Where: Solent Forts, Hampshire
What: A private island, the Playboy Mansion and a military base all rolled into one, No Man’s Fort off the Isle Of Wight was built to repel French invaders. These days, its 15ft-thick walls are used to keep the paparazzi out. Exclusive use gets you a hot tub, cocktail bar, billiards room and ‘laser warfare’ arena.
Make it happen: From £8,000 for private hire; solentforts.com
Where: Hotel Football, Manchester
What: This plush gaff co-owned by Gary Neville has a 12th floor five-a-side pitch with bar and posh pie shop: an ideal place to mark the end of singledom.
Make it happen: From £95pp; hotelfootball.com
Where: West Sussex
What: It’s an eco-warrior’s worst nightmare, but driving monster trucks is hella fun. You’ll romp around the countryside crushing cars in a full-spec American monster truck – the largest of its kind in the UK.
Make it happen: £269pp; activitysuperstore.com
FLY WITH A FIGHTER PILOT
Where: Locations around the UK
What: In a few years time when you’re picking up Caspian from nursery in a Kia Picanto, you’ll remember that time you flew an acrobatic plane.
Make it happen: From £299pp; ultimatehigh.co.uk
PLAY WITH DIGGERS
Where: Dig It, Las Vegas
What: Dig It is essentially a man-size sandpit: hop in a bulldozer or digger and spend 90 minutes blissfully filling a trench.
Make it happen: £177 (90 minutes); digthisvegas.com
Where: Tokyo, Japan
What: The city of Tokyo has many mind-boggling attractions (anyone for a ‘meat theme park’?), but it’s perhaps best known for ninjas. Luxury travel agent Black Tomato will arrange for you to spend a day fending off simulated Yakuza attacks and learning ninja skills from one of Japan’s most legendary senseis.
Make it happen: From £4,599pp; blacktomato.com
PLAY WITH A LEGEND
Where: Locations across the UK
What: Merson, Babb, Windass – all football legends. Live your dreams and arrange a kickabout with one of 50 heroes. Drinks and anecdotes featuring Hoddle’s ‘faith healer’ provided.
Make it happen: Price on request; playwithalegend.com