Have you hear the one about the... never mind, these are probably funnier, and undoubtedly fresher than that feeble dad joke you've been rattling off since the mid naughties.
The comedy (and constant repeat) channel Dave has announced the winners of its public vote for the funniest joke of this year's Edinburgh Fringe festival, and there are some true gems amongst the top ten.
Have a chuckle, and be on your guard to shoot down your mate when he tries to claim he made the same joke four years ago. He didn't.
(Images: Rex, Twitter)
10. Grace the Child
They’re always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for.
9. Simon Munnery
Clowns divorce: custardy battle.
8. Alun Cochrane
The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.
7. Tom Parry
Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night: day.
6. Mark Nelson
Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.
5. Dave Green
If I could take just one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t go.
4. Masai Graham
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
3. Adam Hess
Surely every car is a people carrier?
2. Stewart Francis
Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West.
1. Darren Walsh
I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.