You've been invited to a dinner party - a proper one, where the food won't be served on lap trays. The host is even asking people to bring cheese and wine to round the evening off.
Forget about mortgages or cars - this is the first truly adult purchase you will ever make. Succeed, and you'll be respected, envied and admired by your mature peers. Fail, and it'll be ready meals with Call of Duty for the foreseeable future.
To save you fumbling about the wine aisle with a panicked expression and a sweaty brie, the chaps at Cabot Cheese know a thing or two about cheese and wine etiquette. The following guide partners major grape types with the most suitable cuts of cheese, from merlot with a flavoursome garlic and herb number, to the blessed union of sauvignon blanc and Montery Jack.
As for stimulating conversation topics... you're on your own. We haven't got an infographic for that yet.