Last year Doutzen Kroes earned a massive $6.9 million (£4.2 million) simply for being beautiful. Which means that she's even less likely to be impressed by our offer of marriage, given the crippling overdraft and that broken sofa.
So our connection with her might have to remain in our increasingly elaborate fantasy world. A world which is made even more detailed with this latest set of Victoria's Secret snaps.
In fact, in the real world, the Dutch model is already married. That's the sound of the bubble bursting.