Barry Stanton is a very angry man.
By the state of his Twitter account, the Blackpool resident is angry at pretty much everyone and everything, but particularly people that he perceives to ‘not be from Britain’.
But what really got the goat for our Baz, who looks like Alan Brazil cosplaying as Al Murray’s pub landlord? What was the straw that broke the camel’s back for him about life in modern Britain?
Well, it was his son being forced to read the ‘korma’ at school.
In his defence, the words ‘korma’ and ‘Quran’ are both five letters long but chances are his lad needs reading lessons if he can’t tell the difference between a book and an Indian dish.
The ‘proud father of five’, whose rhetoric is straight out of Stewart Lee’s ‘these days you get arrested and thrown in jail if you say you’re English’ routine, complained about the occurrence in a ‘religion class’.
Suffice to say the comments didn’t, ahem, curry favour with his followers.
Rather than ignore him, people opted to rice to the bait and pilau ahead regardless, when really it should have been much aloo about nothing.
You can see where this is going.
(Now, there is a chance that this is a parody account - it was set up this month - but there’s every chance it’s not and besides, it doesn’t detract from the excellent responses)
In the words of the Beasty Boys 'Fight for your right chapati!'— Naveen Cavale FRCSEd(Plast) (@plasreconsurg) November 23, 2017
I remember compulsory balti readings in assembly. Good times. A shame it's all about the korma now.— Kaptain Kobold (@KaptainKobold) November 22, 2017
Here in Australia my kids were forced to read meat pies at school.
It sounds like it was naan-denominational religion class.— No, *I'm* Elon Musk! (@saucissonsec) November 22, 2017
I know what you mean, my lad was forced to drink halal water the other day.— Preece 🎧🎶 (@thisispreece) November 22, 2017
Good job it wasn't the vindaloo he was forced to read - that's a really really hot tome!— Patrick Smyth (@pat5410) November 22, 2017
Barry, don't take any shit chaat off this lot— Randle P McMurphy (@HectorBeegabaw) November 22, 2017
And so on and so forth.
No need to spoil you with the rest of these - you should only hand out these Indian food puns in small dosas.
(Main image: iStock)