Book of Revelations, chapter one.
First, Taylor Swift shall fall. Then, Donald Trump shall become a far too successful candidate for President of the United States. Then, Swizzels will make a Parma Violet Cheese.
This is it, friends. This is the end. For reasons we will go into but can't possibly ever be good enough, the sweet company Swizzels has commissioned a cheese made out of everyone's least favourite offering in the birthday part goodie bag - Parma Violets.
The cheese contains crushed sweets and was made by The Cheshire Cheese Company in order to celebrate the 70th birthday of Parma Violets.
"We wanted to give the nation something special and different," Clare Lee, from Swizzels, said.
"We know Parma Violets have a unique flavour that divides the nation and we think this cheese will do the same."
Oh yeah. Cool. Thanks, Clare. It's not like our nation is divided enough right now, is it? In fact, we're so united, this'll spice things up for us all in these relatively slow months. GREAT WORK, CLARE. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.