Food & Drink

Nando’s has just announced its hottest ever sauce

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Gary Ogden
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There are a number of lovely sauces available at Nando’s, and grabbing at least three and taking them to your table is an essential part of any meal. So far, they have seven sauces on offer, which are:

Lemon & Herb PERi-PERi sauce: Worth getting, definitely.

Mango and Lime PERi-PERi Sauce: No thanks, this isn’t primary school.

Mild PERi-PERi sauce:  Absolutely not, 0/10, cannot taste.

Medium PERi-PERi sauce: Potentially, depends which marinade you went for on your chicken.

Garlic PERi-PERi sauce: Yes, obviously, it’s the best one.

Hot PERi-PERi sauce: Lovely stuff, worth a drizzle.

Extra Extra Hot PERi-PERi sauce: No, it’s stupid.

However, Nando’s has announced its new sauce, and *sigh* it’s the hottest yet. It’s called PERi-PERi Vusa, and supposedly contains more peri peri chillies than all the other ones, as well as citrus, garlic and onion.

“Vusa” means “excitement and fire” in Zulu, but you can drop the “excitement” part, because it’s probably going to be too hot isn’t it? Eating isn’t a game guys – don’t you want to enjoy your food? Nando’s claim it’s “fiery enough to impress mates and dates alike”, but the last time we went on a date and ate the hottest thing on the menu, the amount of snot on our top lip ended up bringing the date to an early end.

Still, at least it’ll still be “cheeky”, only perhaps in a slightly more literal sense, in that your arse will be on fire for a good few days afterwards.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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