Food & Drink

The most-confiscated item at London City Airport is so British it hurts

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Gary Ogden
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I always used to disagree with the whole ‘love it or hate it’ thing when it came to Marmite. I was always in the ‘it’s just OK, actually’ camp – I neither loved nor hated it. However, something has happened of late, and I have become suddenly, inescapably obsessed with it in my old age. Now I love it. They were right all along – my love was simply dormant, hiding in plain sight as indifference. I have no idea what sparked this newfound love, but I’m glad it happened – more love in the world is needed right now, even if it’s merely for a black oil that is made of dying yeast.

Thankfully, this love of mine is shared by a good many Brits, so many in fact, that Marmite is the most seized item at London City Airport. Of course, by ‘item’, I mean ‘prohibited branded food item’, anyway. That’s people taking their Marmite on holiday with them, because they can’t go two weeks without it.

“Oh, you went to Madrid? Lovely bit of tapas out there, I tell you. What type of stuff did you have? Visit the ham museum? Great meat, great meat.”

“No I had Marmite on toast for every meal.”

“Ah I’ve always wanted to go to Japan, I’ve heard the food is amazing. Ramen, sushi, all that jazz – did you enjoy it? I’m so jealous!”

“I sucked Marmite off my fingers 20 times a day.”

Marmite is the most-seized item at London City Airport

The reason it’s being seized is of course because most pots of it are over the 100ml limit for liquids, and therefore in danger of becoming Marmite bombs, which is coincidentally the same name for what comes out the other end after a week of eating Marmite every day. Or so I’ve heard.

But hey, if you absolutely cannot go on holiday without bringing along some Marmite (I’m finding it hard to blame you), then for today only you can swap it at the airport for a travel-size 70g one. I mean, that’s one scoop for me, but it might last a bit longer for you, who knows. Either way, if this is successful, Marmite are hoping to make it a more permanent thing for any poor traveller who gets done for Marmite possession at the gates.

Anyway, I’m off for a shower, I need to get all this Marmite out of my hair.

(Images: iStock/London City Airport)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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