Food & Drink

Japanese hospital food looks better than most meals you’ve ever eaten

Posted by
Gary Ogden
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Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 11

You’ve been in hospital before, probably? I have anyway, for a few different things - some I can tell you about (fractured ankle), some I can’t (cucumber-gate ‘07), but I’ve done it, and as such, I have eaten hospital food on a number of occasions. It’s shit, normally, isn’t it? A bit of toast here and there, some soup, a ‘thing’ with some ‘stuff’ on it - I don’t know what I’m eating, but I know I’m not enjoying it.

Stupid me, then, because if I’d have had a salad-based mishap in Japan in ‘07, I’d have been the happy recipient of an absolute platter of tasty delights. I know this, because an Imgur user recently gave birth in a Japanese hospital and shared some photos of the mouth-watering smorgasbord she had the pleasure of slipping down her gullet. It knocks us lot out the park - just cop a load of this gang:

Chicken fingers with shredded cabbage salad, bitter melon stir fry, agedashi tofu, carrot salad, rice, miso soup

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 10

Salmon with mushroom sauce, soba noodles, rice, eggplant and beef, broccoli, hijiki salad

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 9

Fish, braised vegetables, niku jaga (meat and potatoes), cucumber and baby corn salad, rice, miso soup, green tea

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 8

Chicken with mushroom sauce, braised pumpkin and pork, daikon carrot salad, rice, miso soup, chawan mushi

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 7

Mackerel, konbu salad, natto, spinach salad, miso soup, rice, milk, green tea

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 6

Fried fish with tartar sauce, braised mountain potatoes, hijiki salad, spinach and carrot stir fry, rice, green tea

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 5

Mushroom pasta, potato salad, broccoli and bacon salad, chicken soup, fruit, bread, green tea

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 4

Cod, shredded cabbage salad, pasta salad, sweet potato and peas, rice, green tea

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 3

Omuraisu, macaroni salad, chicken soup, squid rings, fruit, green tea

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 2

Salmon, tofu, spinach salad, natto, miso soup, rice, milk

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten 1

Sea bream, pasta salad, chicken meatballs, pickled daikon, rice, miso soup, chawan mushi, green tea

Japanese hospital food is better than any food you've ever eaten

This is especially salivating considering that in Japan, patients only really foot about 30% of their healthcare bill, with the government paying the rest. I would happily pay 30% just for that goddamn omelette up there - I want it in me now.

So essentially, I require somebody to get me pregnant in Japan so that I can eat all of this delicious food. COME HITHER, VIRILE VOLUNTEERS, IMPREGNATE ME. I NEED A BABY FOR THE TASTY FISH.

(Images: Hahahah1111111)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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