Food & Drink

Iceland is selling chocolate-infused cheese for Easter, for some reason

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Gary Ogden
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Easter was when Jesus was born in a cave, so we celebrate it with eggs and chocolate. But hey, cheese is a food, too, so let’s just sodding lump that in with Easter as well, why not?

So what Iceland is doing (the supermarket, not the country), is introducing a tiny little wheel of cheese, but putting chocolate in it, because it’s Easter. It obviously forgot about the whole egg thing, but who cares, chocolate and cheese – a match made in Hell!

The particular type of cheese is Wensleydale, infused with raspberry and then for some reason, white chocolate curls. Then because someone accidentally neglected to include any reference to an egg – the part which ties it to Easter – the big dogs in charge have named it The Cheaster Egg. Just to reiterate, it is not an egg, but it is called one.

The idea was voted for by Iceland customers, who had an option of the Wensleydale winner, or a cheddar and chocolate version – which sounds marginally better. Really, Wensleydale is the wacky bastard of cheeses, isn’t it? It’s always got crazy fillings like apricot, cranberry or, I don’t know, wasps – it’s nonsense cheese. Get rid of it.

This latest bonkers concoction comes hot on the heels of The Cheester Egg, which was being sold on the internet recently to huge outrage. Iceland has changed one of the letters though so it’s not the same. Also, it’s not a fucking egg.

If you want one, it’s available now and it only costs three quid, which is probably a bit much for something you’ll take one bite of and then immediately flush down the toilet, but whatever. Buy one here, you blasphemous heretic.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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