It’s Wednesday, which means we’re all arguing about *spins wheel* toast, apparently.
More specifically, how to properly cut toast.
We all know about some of the secrets to making and preparing sandwiches, but does toast play by different rules?
Hallamnation, a student night in Sheffield, has unwittingly (or perhaps very deliberately) prompted the debate
First things first, it’s brilliant that a student night would give out toast to soak up the night’s cheap alcohol, as anyone who has ever been to Metros in Cardiff will surely agree.
It’s not quite on the level of that club in Milton Keynes with a kebab shop on the premises, but every little helps.
Also, they’ve clearly missed out two key options, namely a) cutting it into quarters so it looks like you have more toast and b) not cutting it at all and letting you eat the slices whole.
Still, what’s done is done, and we need to get to the crux of the matter.
First of all, option two is out of the question. It requires you to turn the toast 90 degrees before cutting, which is bad enough, but it also leaves you with two halves which have vastly different crusts on far too many varieties of bread.
Sure, if you get that factory-formed, perfectly rectangular toaster-specific bread then you might get away with it. But regular bread, with that curvature at the top edge and the perfectly straight bottom? That’s just upsetting.
Now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get down to business. One or three?
It’s obviously one, but just to humour you, here are some tweets suggesting some people do, bafflingly, choose the right-hand option.
I'm guilty of cutting mine like number 3 when I was 10. 😳🍞😂— Hafiz Shariff (@HafizDoc) December 12, 2017
Right, back to business.
When you get a pizza delivered, what shape is it cut in?
When you buy sandwiches at a supermarket, what shape are they cut in?
You can probably see where we’re going with this.
Indeed, as one smart individual once told us: “Cut it diagonally. This adds exactly 7 taste.”
Number one it is, then. But probably best to leave it a little longer in the toaster, too, based on those pictures.