We’re reaching the stage where we really need to stop assuming tech companies know anything about real life.
CityMapper has invented a cab with regular stops – in other words, a bus.
Airbnb is working on developing its own ‘branded apartments’ – so a hotel, then.
Someone else has come up with the concept of ‘house-hacking’, which already exists and is just the concept of being a landlord.
And now, looking at Google’s new emojis, I think we’ve figured out what the problem is – they’re not appropriating ideas, they literally don’t know what normal stuff is or looks like.
Right, so here’s a picture of a cheeseburger.
You might be thinking “what are you doing? I know what a cheeseburger looks like”. Well that’s fine, but GOOGLE CLEARLY DOESN’T.
Here’s another one, just in case there are any Google execs waking up to a flurry of cheeseburger-related text messages and taking the appropriate step of heading immediately to ShortList.com.
Surely that’s impossible to mess up, right? What did they do, forget the cheese?
No, somehow it’s worse.
It’s under the burger. Under. The. Burger.
Before, you thought the only downside to powdered meals was social exclusion, but no – there are actually some practical issues to transcending people-food.
Still, even if that burger’s all wrong, at least anyone eating it would be able to wash it down with a cool glass of beer.
Everyone knows what that looks like – there’s no way anyone could get that wr…
To Google’s credit, CEO Sundar Pichai has pledged to look into the matter.
However, we need to work out how something like this happened in the first place.
Do staff in Google’s canteen have to assemble their own burgers? Do they come pre-assembled with the cheese below the beef? Do they drink bizarre glasses of beer with clouds floating above them at their after-work drinks?
We need answers.
(Images: Apple/Google/Rex Features)