Is chicken the best meat? Very possibly, although I’m not getting into that argument here (I’m saving that for the next features meeting – I’m on my last warning), instead I’m going to say something that we can all agree on: chicken is nice.
It is even nicer when it is deep fried in a vat of oil – crispy, brown, juicy, crunchy, oh god what is happening in my mouth there’s saliva everywhere.
So, bearing that in mind, chicken fans, what would you say if I told you that there was an entire chicken festival coming to London? You would say something like “Oh my god” or “Suffering succotash” or “I’m a vegan”, wouldn’t you?
Yes, on the 5th and 6th of May, The Bucket List (great name, applause is required) will be coming to Granary Square in King’s Cross, which is a great spot because the fountains make it smell like an outdoor swimming pool, and if you think there’s a better smell than that, you’ve potentially got anosmia.
Buy a ticket and you’ll get a free beer and a piece from all eight fried chicken purveyors making an appearance: Mother Clucker, Other Side Fried, Only Jerkin, Bill or Beak, Daja Chicken, Killa Dilla, Mother Flipper and Petare. Then after numbing your greedy lips with all of them, you can vote on the winner, who will be announced at the end of the day, whereupon presumably they will dip the head chef into a cage of boiling oil before feeding them to the baying crowd. Probably anyway, I rate.
There’ll also be music from live band Mariachi El Pinche Gingo and then something called a “DJ” later on in the night. It’s going to be a right old laugh, and no mistake.
But before you go, pro tip: do not run through the fountains wearing only socks after loudly pronouncing “The socks will give me grip”, because it will not go to plan. Trust me.