It often feels like everything has been done in food and drink. Every ingredient you can think of has been combined, mashed up, flavoured, and joined together in unholy matrimony. When the hot dog stuffed crust pizza came around we thought that was it: there can be no further invention.
However, it pains us to say that we were wrong. Very wrong. As news reaches us that one of the axioms of drink - a fundamental imbibing unit - has received a remix that we never knew it needed.
Yes: fizzy milk is now a thing.
Milk producers Arla have announced plans to start selling a sparkling milk drink in the UK, apparently to appeal to teenagers. A whey milk, with no fat, will be mixed with fruit juice before being carbonated and sold with a pink colouring.
It’s been created by German biochemist Sven Thormahlen and ex-Heinz creator Matt Walker and will go on sale in the UK and Singapore first before being rolled out across the rest of the world if it goes down well.
Plans for the drink were first hinted at at the end of last year when the company revealed plans to triple to money it makes from milk-based drinks by 2020; a move necessary as milk sales fell by around £240m between 2014 and 2016, according to data compiled by Grocer magazine. Traditional cow’s milk is also under pressure from the increasing popularity of non-dairy varieties such as almond and coconut.
However, this is not the first time that ‘Big Milk’ has tried to fizzy up their wares: in 2009, Coca-Cola trialled Vio carbondated milk drinks in the US; while 2014 saw Britvic launch Tango Strange Soda in the UK, which was axed after less than a year.
Still, while this might be a bit of a strange concept, as least it’s not as strange as breast milk ice cream, which briefly went on sale in London’s Covent Garden back in 2011.
Our tip thought? You want to get teenagers buying this new fizzy milk? Stick some alcohol in it, call it an alcopop, stick a sheep wearing sunglasses on the front and watch the sales rocket. We’ll expect our commission in the post.