Food & Drink

A Danish brewery has made a beer using all the wee collected at a music festival

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Gary Ogden
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“This beer tastes like piss,” your mate said, last night, when he drank a branded lager. He only drinks craft stuff, you see, so it’s important he lets you know that. Very important.

Anywhat, he might soon be saying that for real, and you wouldn’t be able to fault him, because there’s a beer been made that is actually, genuinely made out of wee-wee. 

OK, I’ll come clean – it’s not directly made out of piss, because that probably wouldn’t be very nice. I’m sure it would affect the taste in some way.

What’s actually going on here, is the beer was produced using malting barley that was grown in a field that was fertilised by wee. Human wee. The downstairs-spew of a drunk human at a festival. The juicy juicy wazz from Roskilde music festival in Denmark, two years ago. So, really old wet stuff.

Once collected from the bogs, it was used (instead of horse turds) to help the vital beer-making crops grow, presumably by getting someone with a giant mouth to suck it up and spray it over the field through their teeth. I don’t know how these things work.

Henrik Vang, chief executive of Norrebro Bryghus (the brewery) says:

“When the news that we had started brewing the Pisner came out, a lot of people thought we were filtering the urine to put it directly in the beer and we had a good laugh about that.”

The process is being called ‘beercycling’, and in total, 50,000 litres of stinky, thick main-vein-drain was collected from the festival, and that went towards growing enough malting barley to produce about 60,000 bottles of the stuff.

The beer is called Pisner, by the way, which I think is a very good joke (even though Grand Theft Auto IV sort of did the same thing a few years ago).

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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