You just can’t get a decent milk steak anywhere these days.
Either you’re served it boiled over soft instead of hard, or they cook the jelly beans instead of leaving them raw. Some restaurants even look at you with disdain when you order it – like you’re some sort of “white trash”.
“I’ve never heard of milk steak, that’s not a thing,” the waiter will say. “Also please put your trousers back on and get out of our restaurant.”
All this means that we’re having to learn to make our favourite foods – milk steak, rum ham, the Grilled Charlie and Fight Milk – in the comfort of our own homes.
Thankfully, YouTube chef Andrew Rea is here to help us jabronis out. He’s made a new video in which he cooks up all of these delicacies. Sadly he’s left Mac’s Famous Mac & Cheese off the menu, but I guess that’s probably a good thing for the dog population (RIP Dennis Jr.).
Rea’s video series ‘Binging with Babish’ has already taught us how to make Kevin’s Famous Chili from The Office, the Big Kahuna Burger from Pulp Fiction and Lovers’ Delight Sundae from 30 Rock – he specialises in recreating food and drink from TV and movies.
But making rum ham look that delicious and Fight Milk seem vaguely appetising is probably his best achievement yet. The Fight Milk doesn’t include any actual crows, by the way, so it isn’t quite authentic, but also won’t kill you, so y’know.
The Grilled Charlie looks like it would almost certainly give you a heart attack, however, so if you’re looking for death by Always Sunny-themed foods then this video still has plenty for you.