They’re making a TV show out of that game, The Witcher, didn’t you know? That really hard game that you played for five minutes and then gave up on? The one you ejected from the Playstation and then threw out the window? The one which, after going downstairs and into your garden, you trampled into the patio? That one? Yeah, it’s going to be on television.
I know this because it’s been written by Lauren S. Hissrich, one of the writers behind Daredevil, The Defenders and Justice, and she only gone and done a tweet about it:
But that’s not the end of the story, oh no, it continues, it soldiers on, this story, and it gets better. You see, Lauren carried on tweeting about her script, in ways that look almost exactly like this:
(Warning: These mean absolutely nothing if you’re not familiar with The Witcher)
ANGOULÊME IS:— Lauren S. Hissrich (@LHissrich) February 28, 2018
(Anything but) Simple.
A phoenix from the flames.
The missing piece.
YARPEN ZIGRIN IS:— Lauren S. Hissrich (@LHissrich) March 1, 2018
A diplomat of the highest order.
VESEMIR IS:— Lauren S. Hissrich (@LHissrich) March 6, 2018
Sprightly (despite the fact that he's...)
SIGISMUND DIJKSTRA IS:— Lauren S. Hissrich (@LHissrich) March 9, 2018
Tweets which were duly followed up with a helpful casting suggestion:
And lo and behold, a little somebody noticed:
I have no idea what this is or what it's about but agree it could/should be played by me. 👍— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) March 6, 2018
And then, AND THEN:
Tweet by writer, tweet by Star Wars account, reply by actor in Star Wars, quip by official account of game TV show is based on - it’s a love story for the ages. It’s what we all strive for, but only certain people can experience it. Thank your lucky stars you are one of them.
Would Hamill be good for the role? Maybe. You’d probably have a clearer opinion if you hadn’t destroyed the game with less than 1% complete, but at least you’ll now get to find out how it ends.